is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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