Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Im watching someone hooking up in the library

(970): View more from Colorado

procrastination at its finest

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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(619): View more from California

The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.

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(630): View more from Illinois

She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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(469): View more from Texas

After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.

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(904): View more from Florida

Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?

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