Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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