You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
