it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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