I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
