he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it glows. i had to have it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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