you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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