I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
