i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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