their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
