okay pat passed out under dana's car
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
