You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
