Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
