cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize