Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
