Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
