whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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