VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
