We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize