I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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