Sry I called you an 8
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize