how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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