that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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