sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You smell like stripper and shame
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize