I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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