I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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