ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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