Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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