yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
