I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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