So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize