she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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