i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Found your dick twin last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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