i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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