His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
