"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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