Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
