brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's Friday. Sex?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
that is very illegal...i love you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
