Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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