i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
