All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
