did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Soap is not a condiment
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
