i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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