just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
