JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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