What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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