it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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