Don't you send me to vm
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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