I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
