She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
