They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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