So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
