I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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