found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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