It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
