The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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