but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
