Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Less talking, more tequila
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
