worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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