we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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