He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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