He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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