I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
