eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
