We got so high we made milksteak
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize