Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
