you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
