I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
