took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
