I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
