so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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